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Holly Jolly Arse Magic

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Everything posted by Holly Jolly Arse Magic

  1. RIP Dolores O’Riordan

    EmpteeEEEEHEEEE
  2. burn out or fade away: the dead musician megathread

    I was reading this thread on another board yesterday and now I am thoroughly spooked
  3. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    Just realised that's not Benny. Those posts I read earlier about the Portland gay scene aren't as revelatory as I thought.
  4. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    I agree* with that *disagree
  5. Miscellaneous Games Discussion

    I remember a video for Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy in which the narrator pronounced the word "sequences" in a very creepy way, so I'm not surprised.
  6. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    Now that the dust has settled I think we can all agree that I am wokest.
  7. Fantasy Premier League 2017/18 - it's back! Pay up scum!!!

    If it makes toy feel any better, I forgot to bring Salah back in.
  8. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

  9. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    We should focus on a different boarder each week in this thread and thoroughly shame them. I volunteer to go last.
  10. Faith, spirituality, religion, etc

    Does the word filter work on youtube videos too?
  11. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    I'd like to get ahead of the story coming out on this one: Posted 28 October 2010 - 10:31 PM I hate women in top hats I was wrong and I'm sorry.
  12. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    I have burned all my wahdiohead records.
  13. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    What I do find surprising is his best actor award.
  14. Faith, spirituality, religion, etc

    At a birthday party just now and I've already been asked to tell the letter to god story twice. I do tell it well these days to be fair.
  15. British TV shows for British people

    A PR stunt. And it worked! I've just booked her for my mate's stag do.
  16. Men Are Trash: The Megathread

    The payin you yet, Puddy?
  17. The Whiskey Thread

    Maybe I'll get it given back to me for my birthday
  18. The Whiskey Thread

    It's her birthday and I know she likes that particular one. Probably didny want a whole bottle of it, but that's what she got!
  19. Nutrition and Exercise

    I'm sorry for your loss
  20. The Whiskey Thread

    I'm guaranteed a few bottles of whisky a year as gifts, so I never really have to buy any apart from the odd dram here and there when I'm oot. Gave my boss a bottle of Highland Park today.
  21. Menu Thread

    Is this my first thread on the The Annex? And it's an Atease rip-off! Here is the menu for my work's Christmas meal on Friday: 3 course dinner £35.00 Including mulled wine, Christmas crackers, tea or coffee. STARTERS French onion soup with parmesan croutons Braised ham hock with spelt, barley, root vegetables and salsa verde broth Smoked haddock croquettes with yuzu butter Salad of celeriac chermoula, charred cauliflower, burrata and almonds with thyme and lemon sukkah MAIN COURSES Turkey breast stuffed leg, sage and onion, cocotte potatoes, roast sprouts, cranberry, turkey jus Haunch of highland venison root vegetables, braised heritage potatoes, red wine sauce Pan fried gnocchi with charred broccoli, pistachio butter,leek and onion cream Skate wings with creamed Savoy cabbage black olive tapenade, fried capers, crispy kale DESSERTS Chocolate Yule log with mandarin foam Coconut popsicle Malibu pipette and pineapple Christmas pudding with brandy anglaise George Mewes Brie de Meaux or Blue Monday with chutney and lavosh crackers
  22. Faith, spirituality, religion, etc

    Here's another wee religious nugget for you Clarky Deflated, on 03 May 2012 - 03:37 PM, said: Oh to give a serious answer, they filmed mass at the church next to my primary school for STV and I was forced to go. I'm still bitter about it. Bad enough I was a part of that shite for so long, but to force me on telly as well? Singing hymns! In a jar, ya geniuses. In a fuckin jar. A few years later this appeared on facebook: 3 minutes in to see me noticing the camera is on me and dying inside
  23. Faith, spirituality, religion, etc

    A detail my mum later recounted that I hadn't remembered: At one point the head teacher said to her "I don't think David knows the difference between love and sex".
  24. Faith, spirituality, religion, etc

    Apologies for my crude 2011 language below but I want to share my letter to god story with the next generation and can't be arsed typing it afresh. Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:46 PM I went to a Catholic school and we were soon to make our Confirmation (making me 11, fc). We had a substitute teacher one day, or a parent helper or something, and our task was to write some sort of promise to god. She stressed that it would be anonymous, sealed in a big envelope and not opened by anyone. It was between us and god. This led to jokes among me and my pals about what funny stuff we could write. Silly me, they were all just joking (shitebags), but I suppose I was going through my "I've had enough of this Catholic shit" phase and decided I would follow it through. I started off with some pretend sincerity about promising to help out around the house more or whatever, then added: "Also, I promise to shag at least fifty women in my life, because I am a lean, mean fucking machine. Amen (in a jar)." "In a jar" was an in-joke I had with pals at the time where we added "in a jar" on the end of things. Can't remember what it was meant to mean. I don't know if I'd heard lean mean fucking machine or came up with it myself. Still use it though. That was on a Friday. I forgot about it over the weekend. On Monday morning I was told the head teacher wanted to see me and I honestly didn't click as to what it would be about as I walked to her office. Then I saw she had everyone's English jotters on her desk, with mine sitting open at the top of the pile. For handwriting comparison purposes, you see. She started questioning me about what we did in class the previous Friday and asked a couple of times "have you got anything to tell me, David?". I didn't know what to do so I just kept saying no. When she eventually brought out the letter I had to concede and ended up crying like a big pansy. She was distraught too. "How could you think such things?" etc. She made it much worse than it should've been, man. I was sent somewhere to cool off until playtime rather than going back to class. When I got out to the playground, dudes were all staring at me. My friends approached and it transpired that during my cooling off time the head teacher had taken all the boys out of my class for a discussion about me. She asked them if I often talked about sex and if I ever behaved inappropriately . Bitch was giving me the mental perv treatment. My mum was called up that afternoon and given the letter. I remember the head pleading ignorance about the private part of it, saying the big envelope with all the letters was put on her desk with no info, but it was a "good thing" she opened it because it was supposed to go to the church and the priest would probably have seen it and I wouldn't have been allowed to make my confirmation (which would've been the best ending). Mum was being all serious at school but as she drove me home she suggested the head teacher was clueless for finding it so shocking that an 11 year old knows what sex is. She also let me know I was fucking stupid for thinking no one would read the letter, which she later showed to all my aunts and I had to endure them calling me stud and shagger and stuff at parties. When my dad got home from work he slapped me across the head but I know he secretly thought it was cool as fuck. I made my confirmation a month or so later, but thankfully around that time my older sister had started to kick up shit about going to church and stuff and paved the way for me to abandon Catholicism with relatively little fuss. Amen (in a jar).
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